Have you ever experienced losing someone important and close to your heart? May it be a family member, a relative, a friend or a colleague? I have lost my mom 21 years ago and accepting the fact that my mom is gone forever was the hardest thing for me to bear. No comforting words can compensate the pain that I've gone through as a kid during those time. And now, that feeling repeats itself as I've lost my aunt this time last Dec. 21, a few days before Christmas. She is my mom's youngest sibling. She stood as a second mother to all of us her nephews and nieces. We knew that it was coming... and it's just a matter of time.
And with that experience, I've come to know that there are phases of grief. According to an article I've read from the Internet, there are 5 phases of grief and they are the following:
1. Numbness: This reaction often follows the death of a loved one and may last up to 10 days. People who experience emotional numbness say they have a sense of being paralyzed, distant, and removed from one's feelings of grief. Some say such numbing is the body's mechanism for protecting itself from being overwhelmed by the shock of the loss.
2. Denial and Isolation: In this stage, the person experiencing grief and bereavement has significant difficulty accepting the reality of their loss. It may be expressed in more severe forms as a complete denial of the death or in less severe forms in lapses of thinking and behaving as if the person hadn't really died. While complete acceptance is part of the work of the entire grief process, the initial more acute difficulties with acceptance are included in this phase.
3. Anger: In this phase, the grieving person feels anger with the world, fate, God, or people in their lives. He or she may ask, "Why me?" and/or "Why not someone else?" give a flavor of this phase. Bargaining with God for the return of the dead person may be part of this phase.
4. Depression: As time passes, grieving individuals experience acknowledgement and acceptance of the loss. The reality of life after the loss grows; sadness and depression become more present.
5. Acceptance: The bereaved person comes to terms with the loss, and is able to move on to re-invest in the new life that lies ahead. They experience fewer extremes of emotion.
As of this date, I can say that I'm now at the acceptance phase. I've accepted that it is her time to go. I know that wherever my aunt is right now, she's in a better place and she's much happier now.
I do not want to welcome the new year with a sad story, but there are things that are inevitable you just don't have control over with. All you could ever do is to just leave it all to the BIG GUY up there. AMEN!
1. Numbness: This reaction often follows the death of a loved one and may last up to 10 days. People who experience emotional numbness say they have a sense of being paralyzed, distant, and removed from one's feelings of grief. Some say such numbing is the body's mechanism for protecting itself from being overwhelmed by the shock of the loss.
2. Denial and Isolation: In this stage, the person experiencing grief and bereavement has significant difficulty accepting the reality of their loss. It may be expressed in more severe forms as a complete denial of the death or in less severe forms in lapses of thinking and behaving as if the person hadn't really died. While complete acceptance is part of the work of the entire grief process, the initial more acute difficulties with acceptance are included in this phase.
3. Anger: In this phase, the grieving person feels anger with the world, fate, God, or people in their lives. He or she may ask, "Why me?" and/or "Why not someone else?" give a flavor of this phase. Bargaining with God for the return of the dead person may be part of this phase.
4. Depression: As time passes, grieving individuals experience acknowledgement and acceptance of the loss. The reality of life after the loss grows; sadness and depression become more present.
5. Acceptance: The bereaved person comes to terms with the loss, and is able to move on to re-invest in the new life that lies ahead. They experience fewer extremes of emotion.
As of this date, I can say that I'm now at the acceptance phase. I've accepted that it is her time to go. I know that wherever my aunt is right now, she's in a better place and she's much happier now.
I do not want to welcome the new year with a sad story, but there are things that are inevitable you just don't have control over with. All you could ever do is to just leave it all to the BIG GUY up there. AMEN!
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