When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out In Your Arms

To all married and unmarried people: This is a very touching story, please read on....
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On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene ten years ago.The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, “you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs”. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, “Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.”Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said “you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company.” Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, “suppose we divorce, what will you do?” She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.Once again, Dew said to me, “He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together.” I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. “I've got something to tell you”, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. “I want a divorce.” I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, “why?” “I'm serious.” I avoided her question. This so-called answer made herangry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, “you are not a man!”That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month’s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, “He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?” This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, “I remember.” “You carried me in your arms”, she continued, “so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.” I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. “No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce”, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, “daddy is holding mummy in his arms.” His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, “Let us start from today, don't tell our son.” I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, “the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.” On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, “It seems not difficult to carry you now.” She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, “all my dresses have grown bigger.” I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. “Dad, it's time to carry mum out.” He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day.But her much lighter weight made me sad.On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. “Our son had gone to school.” She said, “actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.” I held her tightly and said, “both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.” I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid anydelay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, “Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.”She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. “You got no fever.” She said. I moved her hand off my head. “Sorry, Dew,” I said, “I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.”Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, “I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.”

Facing the Giants

Last November, as part of our Church's 36th Anniversary, we had a Film Showing of an inspiring movie. And this movie is 'Facing the Giants'. This is about a high school football coach who draws up a new game for his team... and himself.After six consecutive losing seasons, high school football coach Grant Taylor believes things can't get any worse. He's wrong. With fear and failure defeating him in football and in life, the downtrodden coach and husband turns to God in desperation. Trusting that God can somehow do the impossible, Coach Taylor and his Shiloh Christian Eagles soon discover how faith plays out on the field. With God, all things are possible...I so like this movie because of the inspiring message it relays to the audience. I even cried upon watching this film. It's very comforting to know that there is one God who is in control of everything. I definitely recommend this film for the whole family to watch and be touched by God.

I'll mishu guys!!!

Today will be my last day here at our head office, I will be deployed in Ortigas as a Consultant. I will surely miss my co-workers here whom I've been with for the past 4 months. I'll miss our late morning breakfast, lunch, merienda time, starbucks (if it's payday)... hehehe. This is why I've gained 5 lbs. because of the constant eating, eating and eating. Har! Har! And of course, who wouldn't miss our pictorial sessions? It will be another adjustment for me, dealing with new people, new environment and keeping up with the task that will be assigned to me. I just hope that I could easily adopt to their working environment. This will also be my first time to work in an office wherein it is not situated in Makati. In my almost 5 years of working, it is always in Makati that I found a job. But now, it's time to say Adios to Makati and say Aloha to Ortigas. New travel route for me to take. No more cholorum (is that correct spelling?) shuttles, instead buses and trains now. Is that a song? hehehe... Surely, this is a new experience for me, and I'm sure I will be taking bigger responsibilities. Hell, yes! I'm ready for it... So Bring It On!! yeah baby!! :)

Simbang Gabi

Our church will be having it's 3 day Simbang Gabi starting on December 19-21 which will start at exactly 7pm. This is different from the 9 days Simbang Gabi of the Catholics. Ours is like a celebrative occasion commemorating the birth of Christ. There will be a program for the whole evening. This is the second time that our church will be having this kind of activity. Our organization which is the Christian Young Adults Fellowship will be in-charge for the first night. We will be having a special number and we'll be singing the Christmas Song "Tuloy na Tuloy Pa Rin Ang Pasko". I love this Christmas song, because of the message and the melody of the tune. It's such a catchy song.

TULOY NA TULOY PA RIN ANG PASKO

O bakit kaya tuwing Pasko ay
dumarating na
ang bawa’t isa’y para bang
namomroblema
hindi mo alam ang regalong ibibigay
ngayong kay hirap na nitong ating buhay

Meron pa kayang caroling at noche buena
kung tayo naman ay kapos at wala nang pera
nakakahiya kung muling pagtaguan mo
ang ‘yong mga inaanak sa araw ng Pasko.

[refrain]
Ngunit kahit na anong mangyari
ang pag-ibig sana’y maghari
sapat nang si Hesus ang kasama mo
tuloy na tuloy parin ang pasko

Mabuti pa nga ang Pasko noong isang taon
sa ating hapag mayroong keso de bola’t hamon
baka sa gipit, Happy New Year mapo-postpone
at ang hamon ay mauuwi sa bagoong

[refrain]
Ngunit kahit na anong mangyari
ang pag-ibig sana’y maghari
sapat nang si Hesus ang kasama mo
tuloy na tuloy parin ang pasko

(Instrumental)

[refrain]
Ngunit kahit na anong mangyari
ang pag-ibig sana’y maghari
sapat nang si Hesus ang kasama mo
tuloy na tuloy parin ang pasko

[coda]
Tuloy na tuloy pa rin (Tuloy na tuloy pa rin)
tuloy na tuloy pa rin (Tuloy na tuloy pa rin)
tuloy na tuloy pa rin ang Pasko
uloy na tuloy pa rin ang Pasko

Happy burpday Sis!!!

Today is my ate's birthday! She is a year older now, and I think a year wiser? yehesss... Anyways, today, she took her birthday leave from her office and plans to go to her review school earlier than her usual sched. But before she goes to her class, we plan to meet, have our lunch together and celebrate it with just the two of us. She pleaded for me to buy her a birthday cake from Cheesecake, etc. Huwaattt??? My darling sister, do you know how much a single slice of that cake cost? How much more the whole cake itself? Oh well, what can I do?... It's your birthday today!! :) Kidding aside, I thank God that He has given you another year to celebrate the beauty of life. I wish that God will continue to bless you more and more in every way. You know naman that I love you and that I'll always be here for you no matter what happens. You will always be my one and only ate!!! yeba!!!

FAQ's about being single

When you reach the age of your mid 20’s and up and haven’t had a boyfriend/girlfriend, people will start to bombard you with a lot of questions why are you still single and unattached. May it be friends, relatives, officemates, church mates, family members and even people whom you lost contact with for the longest time then suddenly you’ve gotten to communicate once again. The first thing that will be ask from you is your personal status: Are you still single or married?… har! har! So, based on experience, I have listed the Frequently Asked Questions about being single. Please read on…

1. How old are you?
2. Do you have a boyfriend?
3. Do you plan on getting one?
4. Have you gone out on a date?
5. What is your ideal guy?
6. Is there a special someone that you are eyeing and would want to become a part of your life?
7. Are you looking for Mr. Right?
8. What keeps you on being single?
9. Do you make an effort to meet someone?
10. Are you happy being single?

Being single for me is a choice. We can be single and happy. In fact, we may even have more reason to be hopeful about eventually enjoying a loving, nurturing relationship because we still have the opportunity to be smarter about choosing partners. I'm praying about it and hopefully, soon... God will make it all happen in His own perfect time. And I know, it will be worth the wait... Naks!!

World Vision... Building a better world for Children

I have a friend whose mom is currently working at World Vision - Philippines. My friend keeps on encouraging me to sponsor a child by donating a sum of money every month. Through this child sponsorship, I can be able to help a kid to be sent to school, for his/her school supplies, and for his /her regular health checkups. This made me realize that I should be thankful and feel blessed that though our family was not that affluent, I and my siblings were spared from experiencing what these kids from World Vision have gone through. So, I promised myself that I will help and support this organization in anyway I can, in my own little way. By the way, maybe you’re wondering who is World Vision? World Vision is a Christian humanitarian organization dedicated to working with children, families and their communities worldwide to reach their full potential by tackling the causes of poverty and injustice. To know more about this organization, just click here

Wish List???

Hhhmmmm.... What is it I want to receive for my exchange gift this Christmas here in our office with a minimum worth of P300? Can anyone give me an idea on what to wish for? hehehe... I don't have anything in mind right now. The wish list I have cost way too much than 300 bucks... arrgghh!! Maybe I'll just window shop later to check out what things I would like to have that doesn't cost that much. Also, my sister has an errand for me to do. She wants me to buy for her, her exchange gift in her office as well. Kumusta naman yun??? Well, I just have to understand her 'cause she doesn't have the luxury of time to shop nowadays because she is currently busy reviewing for the CPA board exam... way to go sis!! galingan mo sa pag re-review, kung hinde... 'la lang ehehe...

Creating my blog

I still have a lot of questions in creating this blog, good thing is that I have a friend from college who's on the know-how in this blogging world. He's been such a great help to me. Thanks to Makoy and to his blogsite for giving me helpful tips on how to create this spanking new blog of mine. Hehehe... Thanks for the help man! Appreciate it...

Bakasyon Grande!!!

Last May, 2007, while I am an unemployed citizen (that is for 3 months), har! har! I had the chance to go to my mother's hometown which was in Ochando, New Washington, Aklan. I had a blast with that vacation of mine. It's like a reunion of sort because our relatives from the States went home to celebrate the town's fiesta. It was also the time for us to catch up with the things we have missed in every family. On that 2 weeks vacation, I have done so much together with my beeeeaaauuutiful cousins. hahaha!!! And the best part of that vacation is of course going to Boracay for FREE!! woohooo.... care of our titos and titas from the States. Thanks Tito Zaldy and Tita Chit :) Next year uli... wehehe

I miss my Kuya

I miss my big bro now a days. Gone are the days that we have our kulitan moments in our house because he has his own family now and he is so far away working as a seaman. Also, who would forget the days of fighting and bickering with each other with the "tiger look" on our faces? hahaha!!! Thank goodness it's over!!! peace bro... hehehe. Anyways, growing up with my siblings, I can say is something I am appreciating right now. As the youngest in our family, I am the utusan of my magaling na mga kapatid. I am so helpless and can't do anything but to obey them... I can't complain because I was afraid to both of them especially to my Kuya waaaahhh!!! But then, when he is working already, during his first travel as a seaman and came home, he bought us a Pioneer component, LG automatic washing machine and a 2 door LG ref. Wow! shopping galore... hehehe. We are very ecstatic during those days to use all those appliances... I can say that he really made the effort to help the family and make our lives much more comfortable than before. Whenever he comes home, my sister and I have $20 from him. Too bad, he can't do that to us anymore because he has his own family. I miss those days... hahaha!! Now, even he's far away we still get in touch with the happenings in our lives. Thanks to the high tech form of communication and very convenient pa, that is through email, friendster, international roaming. Thanks bro!! wink wink

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

It's the yuletide season once again... It's such a wonderful feeling when this time comes. I feel that everybody is in a festive mood and is in a bright disposition in life... I guess the weather is one factor for this. Waking up every morning with a cool breeze gently caressing you will surely give you a head start to kick off your day. What a great feeling it is... Also, don't forget the fact that it is the time for the 13th month pays, year-end bonuses, incentives, tax refunds, refundable leaves, etc. So, with these blessings that we are going to receive, let us not forget to give thanks to the Lord and to share these blessings to others too... Have a Happy Christmas!!!

Your Guardian Angel (Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one


I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

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I so loooooooove this song, the lyrics mean a lot. Reminds me what love's supposed to be about. Would melt if any guy would sing/play this for me. Ahaha...

My cutie pamangkin

If there is one role I love playing in my life right now, it's being an aunt to my 2 year old niece, Rica. She is such an adorable kid I can't help but be amused whenever I visit her to their place. It saddens me though, that I only get to see her very seldom. That is why, whenever we have our bonding moments as mag-tita, I always make sure to have a digital camera in hand just to capture every single moment with her. Labs you ricarix!! umwah!!

Look at those gorgeous eyes...

# fries...

Petiks mode again...

Here we go again... back to the petiks mode here in our office. The project I was in for the past 1 month was being hold by our US counterpart. I don't know the exact detail but our team were informed only yesterday that we were to stop what we are currently doing. We were surprised that all of a sudden, from being very busy for the past weeks and now nothing to do but chat, play dota, eat, and take pictures... Here are some of our goofy pictures taken yesterday.

PG (Patay Gutom) sa spaghetti... hahaha!

Mga adik sa istarbux!!

My first post...

Hi there!! This is my first post for my new blog... I was inspired to create my own blog because of the things that happened in my life for the past 27 years of my existence. I just got into thinking what have happened to me all those years??? From my growing up years up to now that I am working and still single… huwaaattt??? hahaha!!! At the same time, I want to exercise the brain cells in my mind to think and write the thoughts that I keep to myself. Maybe, through this blog I can be able to enhance my creative, logical, analytical, mathematical and whatever kind of thinking that I can enhance… har! har! Going back to my life… uuhhmmm I believe that God has a path for my feet to follow, a plan for my heart to discover and a purpose for my life to fulfill… wow!! Deeeeep. And that is, my friend, I have yet to discover by God's grace.